As if being a mum isn’t hard enough?!
As if being a mum isn’t hard enough?!
Being a mum is pretty tough sometimes. You have to perform a delicate balancing act of being a great mum as well as keeping your own identity and feeling fulfilled. Some mums love being mums and thrive on being with their children all the time, but some of us seem to need a little more variety in our lives to maintain a sense of self.
Obviously this need for more comes with huge pangs of guilt because you feel like you might have something wrong with you by not wanting to be with your children all day every day, or that you will be letting them down by not focusing on them 100% of the time. Have you ever stopped to think that it might actually do them good for you not to be a ‘stuck-in-a-rut’, frustrated mother around them? If you get chance to be you and enjoy doing something else you can have quality time with your children and share your positivity instead of resenting being with them. They get to be with a fun mum instead of a glum mum.
I have 2 pre-schoolers to look after, which I love doing but having stepped away from a fairly full-on London based career I still felt like I was missing something. I wanted to do something I was passionate about, to feel like I was doing something worthwhile. As a mum I knew it was hard to crowbar fitness into my weekly routine and having studied to become a fitness instructor and exercise to music instructor in the past decided to revisit that career option. Late last year I created study slots around my children and qualified to teach pre and postnatal exercise.
Over the first part of this year I worked many long evenings and weekends to build my own website and develop my brand into something sellable. I did feel for my husband at this point as he was getting very little of my attention when he got home from work, however, I knew the effort would be worth it in the long run and thankfully he was fairly understanding. At Easter I was very excited to be launching my first fitness classes in the local area as well as a virtual fitness training option for those who couldn’t get to classes. Since then I’ve been running 3 classes a week and slowly building up my business.
My children come with me to my outdoor class as it means they have a nice walk (push in a pram!) along the river and get some fresh air and stimulation whilst I teach the exercises and then they go to a childminder for a few hours whilst I run my indoor classes. They get the benefit of playing with other children and toys in a different environment whilst I get the buzz of teaching classes, getting fit, energising myself and helping other mums. That seems like a win-win to me!
On top of running my business I also work two days a week from home as a marketing assistant so I have to manage the children around that, as well as not allowing my own business to interfere with my part-time job. The children go to the childminder for those days so they are not having to fight for my time whilst I’m trying to work. We would all end up frustrated if they were at home with me, which wouldn’t be healthy. I’d hate for them to end up as kids who just sit in front of the tv because mummy is busy.
I admit that it’s tricky to juggle everything and I’ve sometimes thought I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, but I’m finding that if I stay organised and disciplined I can manage pretty well and enjoy having so many elements to my life. By splitting my time this way I am allowing myself to thrive as a person rather than just being a zombie mum and therefore I can give the best of myself to my little ones. The way I see it is that they get the best of both worlds – a happy mum at home for most of the time and fun at the childminder’s for the rest. I personally think it has been great for developing their social skills and independence, plus it makes us all really appreciate the time we have together too.
I can honestly say that becoming a working mum is the best decision I’ve ever made. I finally feel like my life is where it’s meant to be. I’m happy and my family are happy and that’s what really counts!
If you are already a working mum or are thinking about becoming one, why not share your stories and comments? I’d love to hear from you.
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